Yet another year later

  Well, here I am again writing in my xanga a year later again.  I'm really not good at keeping up with this thing.  I don't even know if my xanga friends are still reading this even.  Oh well, I'm updating anyway.  So what's new?  Well, new college, new place, new life, new people, new perspectives, and new major.  That's most of it.

  So, I graduated from the community college and moved onto the university, yay me!  Living with roommates sure is different, but not in a bad way.  I love being at a distance from my parents because I can basically do what I want when I want.  The bigger city takes some getting used to.  The roads are crazy and technology seems to be higher.  For example, just yesterday I went to the library.  You check out books by yourself and even take off the security devices!  They don't have those due date cards anymore either, it's a receipt with a list of what you've checked out.  And get this: you can check out up to 100 books?!  Ridiculous.  Yup, life sure is different in the big city.

  The people are supposedly more dangerous.  I just see a lot of rowdy college kids.  >_<  It is a bit annoying when you're trying to study or whatever.  I swear the boys upstairs play "Red Light, Green Light" and potato sack races.  Then, there's the running and yelling up and down the stairs.  Then, there's the loud music playing, whether upstairs or outside in their cars (with rolled up windows).  I don't know how it gets so loud.  It really makes me wonder if people study around here.

  On the perspectives issue, that goes towards my look on my future.  I just changed my major to Digital Media from English.  It looks like a much more enjoyable major.  My English major was going to involve rather boring tasks like writing brochures, memos, instructions, etc.  I decided to move it to my minor because it's still a useful degree.  So far, I have a lot of geek learning to do in Digital Media, but I think it'll be fun.  Right now I'm learning binary, decimal, hex, JavaScript, and CSS.  It's a bit overwhelming, but I guess it's the basics.

  Back to the perspectives, I decided that I really don't know what I want to do with my life if modeling doesn't take me places.  Those of you who kept up with my blogs posted elsewhere know that ROTC didn't turn out well.  There was the whole weight issue and then the time crunching.  I just don't know if I'll join the Air Force.  For awhile, for years I mean, I was sure about the Air Force.  Now I've lost interest because I would have to give up my figure (which I take pride in because of modeling). 

  Besides the Air Force, I'm wondering what I would do with any degree I obtain.  I haven't considered what civilian job I would do.  I always knew the Air Force would take care of that for me.  Now, I just don't know.  I'm relying so much on modeling to work out.  I so want it, but I'm busy with school and I can't just get up and go some place without my chaperone, Greg.  Oh, and about him...we're not together, we just hang out a lot.  We're still complicated.  I'm not really sure what I'm doing, but I guess I'm waiting for something and several people are waiting for me.  :/  My love life is bleh right now.

  In other news, I have recently taken pride in an eclectic clothing style.  It happens by accident somehow.  I also have become obsessed with ribbon, bows, and headbands.  I love making bows and I finally got a heat sealer. 

  Oh, and like my previous post, it's MegaCon time again!  Hopefully, this time I won't get my camera stolen and I'll actually have pictures to remember it by.  I've decided to cosplay Vampire Miyu and Greg's going to be Larva.  And yay for living in the same city now so I don't have to rent a hotel!

I guess that's enough rambling for now.

-Chi

One year later update

  So, it's been forever (again) since I've updated my xanga, a whole year.  Do I dare try to catch up on all of the past events?  Uh...no.  The few that read my xanga probably already know the major stuff anyway.  I'm still with Greg, 2 years now.  Yeah, it feels so much longer.  Who knows, we might get married.  Well, that is the plan 10 years after high school if we don't find anyone else.  That sounds a little wrong, but that's just the promise we made.  That's why I wear this promise ring on my finger and why we are in love.  Yeah, this would be my first "in love".  It's incredible how much we've been through, all the multiple dramas. 

  Community college time is nearly over.  Well, it was supposed to be over at the end of this Spring semester...but...I found out I was lacking elective credit hours.  Oh, for crying out loud.  Yeah, don't trust those advisors, they will mislead you!  They told me that if I took 4 classes for 2 years in Spring and Fall consecutively I would graduate on time.  Well, I'll still graduate the same year, but it'll be after the summer (because I'll be taking summer classes) and I will lose my summer vacation of doom. 

  Also concerning college, I finally decided on my major.  Well, it's my major for now anyway.  I'm an English major.  I chose it because I've already fulfilled all the credits needed for it at the community college.  I can always change it later, I suppose.  Now I just need to apply for UCF,  and I better do it soon.

  Then, there's modeling.  I still haven't given up my dream of becoming a supermodel.  I try to take every chance I can when I'm available to try to make something of myself.  Just last Thursday I went to a free model search and was accepted.  So, I've been invited to the Orlando Expo to go face-to-face with agents from worldly-known modeling agencies.  Hopefully, one of them signs me.  Greg and I are both scared, though, about me getting signed.  If I get signed, my life will definitely change, maybe for a harder life.  If Miami signs me, then I'll probably stay here and just have to drive there whenever I get called.  If another state agency signs me, I have to move to L.A., New York, or wherever.  Yeah, and that probably means me needing to drop out of college to do that too.  Aaaand Greg HAS to come with me or I just can't do it.  I'm not gonna go make a life all on my own without any direction whatsoever.  It's a lot to think about, but I'm just gonna wait and see what happens before I start making moving plans. 

  In other news, I'm going to MegaCon!  Yes, my first con, woo!  I'm so excited I don't know what I should cosplay as.  I made a whole list ranging from anime to video game characters.  I look like too many people, gah.  But it's more about the difficulty of making the costume when it comes down to it.  There are some people I would love to be but the costume is out of my league to even attempt to make.  I wish I had a friend who could make it for me or help me make it.  Oh, how I need seamstress abilities.  I can sew and be creative, but usually the two don't work together quite right for me.

Ja ne 'til later!

-Chi

Hey you guys!

  I'm not really engaged to Greg!  That was our senior prank (in case you haven't heard).  Yup, it was all acted out.  Man was Military Ball a blast, though.  It took awhile for me to start seeping out the truth about Greg and I, because of that.  People were so excited and happy for us.  The truth is, Greg and I are still just dating.  Well, we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but we're not planning on getting married anytime soon.  Oh, and the big rock I had on my finger 'til the end of the school year?  That was fake.  Yeah, costs about $10 at Wal-Mart. ^_^  Anyway, Greg and I might get married in 10 years.  I don't know.  We don't know.  We're in love, yes, but ready for marriage?  No. 

  In the meantime, Greg's going away party is this Saturday and I'm excited, yet sad.  It's pretty much the last time I see him 'til like February.  It'll be so weird being away from him for so long when I've been so close to him for so long.  It'll be a hard adaptation, and I'm going to cry.  Everyone knows he's leaving for basic on Sunday.  I knew this day would come, but I guess I was just in denial.  Now, I'm realizing how big this is.  It's just so close now.  I've been apart from him longer before, but that was before we were dating, so it doesn't count. 

  College is not fun.  High school was better, and I miss it.  At first, I thought college was easier than high school because the classes are not consecutive.  However, it only gets harder.  My job is great, though.  I love my job because it's easy, I don't have to deal with customers or money, I don't have to answer phones, and I get to organize for 3 hours a day for 4 days a week.  It's awesome!  I feel like I'm just volunteering, because the tasks are so menial.  How weird it feels to be paid to do what you love to do.

  This semester is almost over, in fact, it ends Dec. 14.  The next semester starts Jan. 8, and I will have a whole new set of classes.  I'll be taking Astronomy, College Algebra, Humanities, and Human Adjustment.  Right now I'm finishing Comm. 2, Speech, Intermediate Algebra, and Biology.  How fast time flies in college.  Seriously, it's insane and I have even less time to finish those stressful projects, reports, and homework assignments.  And the responsibility we have to keep up with is crazy!  Wah, and no lockers!  The school and teachers assume that everyone drives to school.  Yeah, I have a car, but no license, so what good is it?  Oh, and don't even ask me when I'm going to get my driver's license.  It's going to be a loooong time.  All I know is that I have to get it by the time I start school at the university. 

  Anyway, I should be doing homework right now, but I'm not.  I get so distracted by MySpace and IMs.  Hehe, just like old times.  Anyway, I'm going to go take a showee now (yes, a showee).  Ja ne!

-Chi

Konnichiwa all,

  I haven't posted in awhile so I thought I'd do so today.  Things are pretty much the same as far as my last post goes.  Graduation came and went, yay.  I don't feel any different except for the new pressure that I must go to college and get a job.  Yay again.  (Can you tell I'm being sarcastic?)  Well, I still don't know if I want to marry Greg yet.  Lately, we've been on pretty good notes with each other.  I just have to make sure he doesn't get bored or jealous.  He has a bad habit of that.  He might not admit to jealousy, but it's clearly there.  Our relationship is still skyrocketting and we're really happy with each other.  He's given me more than any other guy has in so many ways so that makes me want to stay with him.  For now, I guess I just ride the wave until something bigger comes along.  I don't mean to say that in a bad way but I'm just saying I'm content for now.  Most of my other crushes are unattainable anyway.  My parents still have no idea that Greg and I are "engaged".  Yeah, I don't know if we're really engaged persay.  Between him and I, we're more of a "promise".  We're in love with each other and would love to spend a life together but I'm the one who's unsure about marriage.  He's convinced I'm the only one for him and that he'll never find another girl.  He may have crushes, but apparently, they won't have nearly the affect I do.  At least we've talked about this many times so he knows how I feel and I know how he feels.  I think I like it better this way.  I like the guy to like me more than I like him by just a little.  Because when it's like this, I don't have to worry about hurting too much if I ever lost him.  I mean, with Greg, yeah, I'd be heartbroken to lose him, but he'd be more so if he lost me.  You know?  Wow, that makes me sound selfish like I'd rather other people hurt than me.  Well...I guess it's only in this case.  At any rate, life only gets harder from here.  It's definitely not downhill. 

-Chi

  I'm confused right now.  I just don't know if I'm getting what I want.  I love Greg, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm really ready to marry him. *gasp* (Yeah, scary thought.)  I thought I was ready, but I think the excitement of being proposed to is misleading.  Marriage is a serious thing and I'm kinda realizing that more now.  See, I was planning on telling my parents I'm engaged at graduation.  Well, graduation is almost here and it recently dawned on me that my other family members will be there too.  So, I'm scared.  I still have crushes on other guys and I'm only in high school.  Who's to say that I won't find an interest in guys in college?  Or in the Air Force even?  I still really want to marry to my racial bloodline and I'm constantly reminded that there are actually many hot Asians out there.  I see them at the mall, I see them in the movies, I see them on military bases, and I know they're just swarming in California and Asia.  This is like when I first joined band in 8th grade.  I tried out on clarinet and flute and my director said that I did perfectly on both of them.  So, I couldn't decide which one I liked better.  It took me so long that she decided to let me think about it for a day.  So, I thought and slept on it for a long time.  I finally chose the flute.  You know why?  Because there was something magical and mysterious about the flute that was different about the clarinet.  The clarinet didn't give me the same enchanting feel.  Also, I had this intuition that I would regret choosing clarinet if I didn't choose flute.  I felt like I would forever wonder in my mind, "what if I chose the flute?"  I didn't want that everlasting thought and so I decided to go for the mysterious.  So, Greg is the clarinet and the other fish in the sea, mainly Asians, are the flutes. 

  So, how can I know that Greg is my true love right now?  I don't!  Maybe my teachers were right.  Maybe I really am too young to decide this life-changing decision just yet.  At the same time, I'm afraid to disappoint all the happy and anxious people waiting for the wedding if I decide not to marry Greg.  Also, I'm afraid to let down Frankie.  He really wants to be best man and play at Greg's and my wedding.  We were even the ones who reminded him that love does exist. 

  Now, as a side note that has nothing to do with this... Lately, Greg hasn't been very fun to talk to on the phone.  I'm actually trying not to call him as often because I know it'll be boring.  It's pretty disappointing when you call someone and they have nothing to say.  I mean, I could talk on and on forever but I don't know if he's really listening.  He won't say a word unless I call his name or repeat myself it seems.  It aggravates me that he doesn't have a response to what I say.  It makes him seem ignorant.  I feel like he doesn't care sometimes.  It's weird though, because he's not like that at all in person. 

  Well, whatever.  There are my thoughts for the day.

-Chi